Last night I almost starred in my own horror flick

Yesterday was one of those loooooong days. You know, the kind that start with the alarm going off at 4:30 in the debatably-nighttime-not-quite-morning dark. A hurried teeth brushing, pulling on the work clothes I set out the night before, grabbing some apples and cheese for lunch, hairspray to set the unruly curls in place, and I was out the door for an early coffee date with my friend Alix. After catching up in Starbucks for 2 hours, I was off to work, which included quizzes and lectures and conferences and a lot of paper grading. Then it was piano lessons, and finally dinner, wine, and fresh cookies with my friends Adam, Denise, Addison, and Mackenna before I got home at 10:15 to a quiet house.

It got longer.

I showered and almost fell asleep dreaming about the 7 hours of sleep I could get before meeting a friend to walk. I exited the shower and set to work (again) brushing my teeth, and I saw a movement outside my bathroom door.

Looking up, my grandmother is standing in the doorway with a wide eyed expression on her white face, crazed hair, and her favorite tattered green robe.

I screamed.

I was so surprised to see her upstairs in my room (I don't think she's come upstairs but twice in the 3 years I've lived with her), especially after I thought she'd gone to bed and fallen asleep hours ago.

She put her finger to her lips and "shhhh"ed me. I think I swallowed my heart, which had leaped up from my chest to touch the base of my tongue, and I said, "Hi Grandma. How are you?"

Then proceeded a very long 2 1/2 hours of being an actor in a play I hadn't read the script for.

Grandma's been experiencing a lot of hallucination type situations - particularly in the evenings - and last night was yet another. She'd crawled into my bed, looked through my scrapbook with me, thought someone was poisoning us, and had a cup of tea before we both finally calmed down enough to actually go to sleep. Once I was back in my own bedroom, I lay on my back, not moving, eyes constantly moving to the shadows of my room to look for movements of either the grandmotherly or water-poisoning type.

I don't think I've been so scared in a long time. Except perhaps in class this week when I thought one of my students was experiencing a stroke in front of me... but that's another story and another horror-type episode.

Watching my grandma age and trying to care for her and support her in this process - along with my whole family - has certainly offered opportunities for patience, creativity, and adventure. Last night, though, I was sure there was some kind of creepy music playing in the background. That was almost too much!

Marissa: Senior Superstar

Last spring my friend Marissa asked me to take her senior pictures. I have known Marissa since she was a little, curly-haired 8 year old running around like a hooligan at the neighbor's house. She's great! We spent a lovely day together in Portland, including adventures like my car almost breaking down, a frantic oil purchase for Poppy-the-Geo, and an outfit change at an upscale bar during their off hours. Hooray for adventures! Marissa has now graduated high school, taken a class and earned her CNA, and is making her way into the world.

Great Growing... Great Groans

The title of this blog is a bit obscure, I realize, but it's about as close as I can currently come to summating the past few weeks/months.

Things are good here on the home front, but they also change at startingly rapid rates, some days. I'll explain a few:

- Grandma's physical health continues to be fair, but her mental health is declining rapidly. Over the summer I noticed an increase in her forgetfulness - she's start to bake cookies and it would take her several days to finish making the dough, and she'd forget what she'd put in it. However the month of August and September saw her beginning to imagine things. Her ability to be able to recognize between reality and thoughts in her head has decreased. She's frequently thought that someone is in trouble and she heads out to help them, or she thinks family members are stealing her money, so she gets agitated and confused. Last weekend she thought my boyfriend, Gabe, had been arrested for creating moonshine using an old still he'd discovered here on the farm, and she thought her daughter and son-in-law had gotten into a fight and shot each other. We've heard numerous stories about how gas is being stolen from her car, or people stopped by to visit when no one has been here.

I think the most alarming thing for her is when she realizes that what she's believed to be reality is only her mind. She gets frustrated, cries, gets angry, cries some more... It's a bit of a constant juggling match to try to keep her calm and not confront her, but rather distract her some days.

- Gabe and I have gone through a bit of a hectic month. We had received an invitation to go teach at an international school in Africa at the end of August, and after praying about it, we began to pursue it. The plan was for Gabe to go on ahead ASAP, and I'd try to get a job at the same school in December or January if they had any openings. We (meaning, Gabe) began to jump through the hoops necessary to go, and tried to figure out the visa process, insurance, etc. He was supposed to leave on Thursday, however, last week he began to realize he no longer had peace about pursuing this. After an intense day and night of prayer over the weekend, he asked to meet with me Sunday morning so we could talk about how he felt God had told him not to go. Although I'm sure it'll settled back into normal here soon, I feel like my world's sort of been turned upside down, then righted itself again, and I'm having a hard time figuring out which way is up!

- I started teaching fall quarter 2 weeks ago, and I'm pretty exhausted with a 20 credit load. Every day is good, but long. The weeks thus far have seemed to FLY by, though, since I'm so busy! Getting work done is a lot, but continuing to do normal things, like cook, clean, meet with people, prepare for youth group, attend church, teach piano, practice piano, edit photos, etc, just seems like a LOT to keep on top of. Only 9 more weeks to go, though!

- I'm going to be Aunti Dani in May! My older sister and bro-in-law announced they had decided to bestow that honor on me. It's pretty terrific!

I think that's the highlights/lowlights of the past few weeks. I'm longing for December, already, when I can take a couple days to catch my breath, clean out my fridge, sweep, mop, do laundry, and NOT have to grade papers!